I have no one to blame other than my own stubbornness and beliefs, for the first time in my life i chose friendship over my relationship and for the last time i lost my very first true love.  They say that true love don't just go away but wait who am i to judge...

No matter what i do, have impact or not; i wish i can get you back someday somehow. 

I believe no matter how incompatible we both are, as long as there is love, love can conquer everything, 

I used to say how foolish human beings are to be so in love, to die of heartbreaks to die for love, never thought i'd experience this myself and i am sorry to all the human beings that i said "what's so difficult in moving on". I apologize for my insensitivity at that point of time, i didn't understand what love is. 

Few days, few weeks ago, my doctor diagnosed me with depression. I got to agree, everyone has their own depression deep in them, its just a matter of how they handle it, how they conquer that negativity. I wasn't strong enough, i didn't get it over fast enough and now i lost you when i just stood up. Who am i to blame that you walked away ? I never failed to push you away, never failed to just whine and hate you when you try to guide me back up in your own little ways. Words can't describe how much i missed you, realizing how much i needed you all along and it's just me being in denial. 

Although you are different, there's alot of things i couldn't accept in you doing it but i learned that compromises is need no matter how much how unbalance it is. 

At the end of the day, i just realize how much i have lost, how much i need  you..

How much i really love you... but yet afraid to face it.

Being yours for the whole 1 year and 11 Months is the best time of my life, i will never deny that because i waited for you for 3 years before that. 

Thank you for all your love and care i failed to notice, for all i know, you love me.